Writer’s Note: Wow! It has been a minute since words have been transcribed on this platform. For that, I sincerely apologize. Since the last newsletter, I bet on myself by getting a new job, found other interests, and have simply just been busy. I’m back! I’m not promising any particular form of delivery, but I’m committed to trying my absolute best. Thank you for continuing to rock with me. Happy 2022. Let’s get it!

It amazes me how traditions weave their way from your childhood into adulthood with your own children. As young as I can remember, my parents were having conversations with my brothers and me at the dinner table, more often than not, with no actual food in front of us. The dinner table was just a communal area for us to express concern, wonder, and vulnerability. I’ve kept that tradition alive with my wife and children. Albeit, we rarely use our dinner table, preference goes to the island in the kitchen, the concept is still intact.

Dinner in our household is always enlightening for one reason or another. This week we enjoyed Taco Wednesday (yeah, I know) with the children trading riddles. Garvey asked, “what goes up, yet never goes down?” Zora looked at him with the most annoyed face and replied, “age, that one was too easy!” I was hit two-fold by my little girl’s response. First, I didn’t know the answer to that fucking riddle, so fuck riddles in general. Second, I am getting older.

This past October, I celebrated my 38th birthday. Writing those two digits together equally unnerves me and fascinates me. I’m closer to the age of 50 than 25 and that’s scary, yet exciting. My friends and I celebrated this milestone by taking a guys trip to Las Vegas. I have no regrets on the outing, but I’ve come to realize a ton about myself at this moment in time. First, partying all night in your late 30s is similar to binging Game Of Thrones, it starts off exciting and ends terribly. Why knowingly put yourself through such misery? Second, my sense of fashion has disappeared faster than us turning our backs on Chrisette Michele. I used to pride myself in my overall appearance. How have I allowed myself to be too comfortable and the pandemic to steer me towards AmazonBasics? Finally, the most gut-wrenching discovery of them all was, I am no longer cool. It’s all gone and I’m not sure I even want it back.

I don’t know what Pushin’ P means. My Gen Z co-workers attempted to explain cheugy to me and admittedly, I still don’t fully understand. Full blown pandemic aside, I try to avoid clubs and lounges as much as I’m avoiding catching COVID. Even bars that play the music too loud, are fucking annoying to me. My cool is gone. Cool was way too much effort and requires a level of commitment I’m not willing to give at this point of my life.

Aging for me means those closest to you are aging as well and maturing in their own ways. All of the interactions that I have with the children in my life expose this uncomfortable truth more than ever. Zora stopped calling me “daddy” when she turned ten years old. Her excuse was something about pre-teens not using such language and now uses the simple title, “dad”. Bruh… talk about your heart shattering in a million pieces right in front of you and you have to play it off like it’s just another Tuesday. To continue on how children are cruel messengers of aging, my soon to be nine year old nephew curved my hug only to extend his arm out for dap. The nerve of this kid! I’ve known him before he was even a thought in the mind of his parents and this is the thanks I get? Such is life.

As I’m growing older, it’s time that I now prioritize the things that matter to me the most: health, family, and financial independence. As a Black man, I’m susceptible to a litany of things that could negatively impact my health, from hypertension to prostate cancer. It doesn’t end with the physical, but extends to my mental health as well. I’m learning to set more boundaries with people in my personal and professional life. I’ve had far too many discussions with people that have simply burned out of corporate America. Not to say that entrepreneurship is the right answer, but I would rather stress building something for myself than for someone else’s dream. The goal moving forward is to never have a single source of income. I enjoy my lifestyle tremendously and I will not be beholden to a conversation with HR, an economic recession, or circumstance to negatively impact that.

Here I am. 38 years young with a lifetime to go. Where I currently am in my life feels more like a starting point of a journey rather than the awkward middle. I’m drinking my water. I’m minding my business. Most importantly, I’m taking the time to just enjoy the fucking ride. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, just right now at this moment.

What I’m Listening To

Nas - Magic. I’m immensely thankful that I get to grow old with rap music. All of my favorite rappers from childhood are still delivering art and doing it masterfully. Ending 2021 on the highest of notes, Nas releases a third album with producer, Hit-Boy. The album is concise, yet musically deep. Albums with a consistent producer and sound rarely miss.

What I’m Reading

I read an insightful article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution titled, “Once the ‘richest Negro street,’ Sweet Auburn tries to hold on”. This piece was written by Ernie Suggs. The article discusses the concentration of wealth and success held by Black people nestled on Auburn Avenue. The street is synonymous with the civil rights movement and Black businesses. Present-day, the area has been hit hard with neglect and natural disasters. The article explains the initiative to revitalize the area and hopefully, bring it back to its former prominence.

What I’m Watching

Stay Close on Netflix. I almost gave up on this series, until I had to remind myself that I’m a writer as well and I need to give grace to my fellow craftsmen to tell their story. I’m glad I stuck it through, because it was worth it. Overall, the UK-based drama was entertaining, albeit utterly confusing at times. If you have time to kill and are looking for a slow burn then check out this series.

“Only thing undefeated is time. Second is the internet. Number three is this rhyme.” - Nas

Approximately two months ago, I started a new role at a startup. Anyone that has worked at a startup knows the amount of effort needed to execute your responsibilities effectively, particularly when there are not certain systems or processes in place that more established organizations have in abundance. As someone who has close to 15 years of experience in my field, coming to a company that’s growing is equal parts exciting and frustrating. As someone in leadership, the polar emotions are amplified ten fold. Being a leader with years of experience at a startup is one thing, then layering that with the distinction of being Black makes for some moments that will be shared in whatever future memoir I decide to write. 

Corporate America is such a weird arena to navigate as a Black man in leadership. You’re so many things at so many times - unicorn, pariah, or invisible. The mental gymnastics you undergo each day seems absurd when you verbally express it to anyone that doesn’t share your hue. Between code switching, being overly nice, and ensuring you’re not too direct in your approach to team members, peers, and the executive team, it’s maddening what you have to go through each work day.

As I reflect on my years attempting to climb the corporate ladder - which is smothered in oil and on fire, I find my story being similar to other Black men in the rat race when we have frank discussions with each other. I had a great introductory conversation with one of the leaders in the C-suite, who is a brother, earlier this week. As I continued to pelter him with questions, one of his many responses punched me in the gut. He described the struggle of being a Black man in the corporate world, you’re between a rock and a hard place. When you’re direct while being professional, you’re viewed as a jerk or aggressive. Conversely, when you’re pleasant, you’re deemed not to have the executive chops for decision making roles. None of this is our fault, yet we have to maneuver these spaces delicately.

There’s not one solution to this problem. We all choose to attack it in one way or another and I’m not personally opposed to how one chooses to operate as long as it doesn’t directly impede the progress of someone else. One of my mentors is a “non-threatening Black guy” (his words, not mine) and he’s leaned into that narrative as long as I’ve known him. He makes waves just enough where he can be effective and advocate for others, but not too much where colleagues are turned off by his approach. 

The culmination of my conversation with the C-suite brother at my current company left me with even more vigor. He revealed that it took him six months to shed the corporate trauma of organizations in the past and really be his whole self at our current company. That achievement was only obtained through watching another brother in the C-suite (yes, there are more than one) be his authentic self without any repercussions from the founders or board of directors. He admitted to me that was the turning point of him shedding the mask. It was only made possible due to our current environment and the organization’s commitment to psychological safety, directness, and a workplace free of retaliation.

In my years of experience, I’ve learned as Black men that we’re fighting several battles in corporate America. My advice is to stay strong mentally, physically, and spiritually regardless if you’re in an organization that allows you the freedom to be your whole self or not. Challenge the status quo in your own way and don’t let anyone belittle your solution to the problem. We have the choice to be as free as we want, but be reminded that freedom comes with some sort of cost if you’re not at the right company for you.

What I’m Listening To

It’s been awhile since the last newsletter. In that time, I’ve listened to a ton of music. Some that I chose not to run back for obvious reasons, but others that I really had to sit with for a minute and digest. Mach-Hommy’s Pray For Haiti, is one of those albums. It’s unique in the lyrics that had no punchlines, but make you want to rewind to ensure what you just heard. Sonically, it’s not quite boom bap, but it is most certainly New York rap. If you’re a fan of jazz loops mixed with gritty rhymes, this is the perfect piece of work for you.

Notables

August is National Black Business Month in the U.S. There’s plenty of ways we can celebrate and spread awareness. With technology, particularly social media, access to Black businesses have become even more streamlined. This month, put your dollars to use and spend them with one Black business a week during August.

“Look, I can do in days what may take them years. I done parted ways with those who move in fear. Hard to go astray when the vision's clear. Low-key they might have to throw parades when I'm no longer here.” - Tobe Nwige

This coming weekend, I’ll be experiencing my eleventh Father’s Day. Usually I’m celebrating in some form of fashion with my dad or my friends that are dads. Blame COVID or it’s just me being lost in my thoughts lately, yet I’ve really been thinking on what fatherhood means to me. I’ve been pondering on starting my internal examination from a pure slate. That means ridding myself of the examples I’ve witnessed of fatherhood or what I’ve been taught was the definition of fatherhood. Most importantly, I’ve drowned out the noise of people who are not fathers and will never be fathers. Not having to sift through opinions without the experience to make said opinions relevant has been rewarding. My personal definitions are still evolving, but what fatherhood means to me at this very moment is establishing and maintaining balance within yourself and within the household. Simply put, focus on them and on you.

In the past, I’ve been guilty of neglecting myself entirely and solely focusing my attention on the needs and wants of my family. It could be a reckoning I had within myself to atone for moments that I was selfish. Instead of seeing the behaviors I was exhibiting at the time and addressing them, I overcorrected to make up for those mistakes. Often as fathers we too often neglect ourselves for the great good at the detriment of our own personal development. Far too often as dads, we’re made to feel like we should have the playbook memorized years prior to being a father. Most of the time, we’re learning and unlearning as we go. Over these years as a father, I’ve learned that making time for my own growth is a direct benefit to my children. An example would be a recent proud dad moment, when I took the time to teach my daughter, Zora, the basic principles of investing in stocks. She leaps at any chance to make money and is an astute learner. This was only made possible through my countless hours over the years studying investing and the benefits of holding on to various assets.

If mothers are the glue that holds families together, then fathers are the foundation that they are built upon. Us fathers often learn to utilize foresight in various ways to ensure we’re building a lasting legacy for our families. Often that requires us to hold ourselves accountable to certain P&Ps. Not policy and procedures like all of us corporate folks are thinking, but pride and patience. This is where finding a fine balance is so important, because as a father you need your own time to build these skills. There’s something about me hyping my kids up that brings me so much joy. The sense of pride in themselves and in their culture gives me the energy needed to conquer the day. How I define fatherhood now is the lasting impression I give to my children when I make them feel good just being who they are. One of my duties as their dad is to give them continued reassurance that they are more than enough and more than any limitations others or themselves place on them. The second P has been the most challenging, yet delivers a satisfaction that’s difficult to define in words. Patience with them, patience with yourself, and patience with the plan.

Cheers to all of the dads out there! This Father’s Day, not only should you enjoy the big piece of chicken, but enjoy creating calm in the chaos. As you’re firmly rooted in protecting and providing, make sure you are manifesting an environment in which you can thrive as well. As you man the grill, play catch, or provide sound advice, always recognize that this day is for you and about you.

What I’m Listening To

In the spirit of fatherhood, this weekend I’ll be playing “Glory” by Jay-Z. It’s an ode to his first child. You can feel Hov’s excitement as soon as the song starts. It’s an amazing feeling when your first child is born (no offense to subsequent born children) and the newness is so raw and pure. Every time I play this song, it reminds me of the experience of being a part of both of my children’s deliveries. The nervousness, anxiety, and elation is unrivaled. Those were just my feelings, I couldn’t imagine what my wife was going through. She’s the true MVP.

Notables

In my efforts to find some differences in Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I went and did some research on United States consumer spending. According to Lending Tree, U.S. consumers spend on average $219 on Mother’s Day compared to $190 on Father’s Day. For all of you children that forgot to get your dad a gift, have no fear. According to Lending Tree’s data, most dads just want quality time with their family as a gift. I have absolutely no faith in their data, but my wife and kids better not come empty handed.

"Yes, it maybe easier to build strong children than repair broken men... but that doesn't mean we should leave men broken." - Jason Wilson

Today marks exactly eleven years that my wife, Julia, and I were married. It was a Friday in Lawrenceville, Georgia in front of family, friends, and God where the weather couldn’t make up its mind. Mother Nature didn’t know if she wanted to be oppressively hot or wetter than a ten piece from American Deli. It rained almost the entire day of our wedding right until 45 minutes prior to the start of the ceremony. Those with wisdom say, rain on your wedding day brings good luck. Eleven years later and I can attest that the luck has not run out. Coincidentally, we started dating unofficially five years prior to our wedding day. I only say unofficially, because even though I knew she was going to be my wife after our first conversation, I did all of the dumb shit most young men do in their early twenties. (Not to ramble, yet it baffles me how people can place large bets on collegiate male sports. Men are pathologically dumb until sometime towards our mid-twenties.)

Days like this, Julia and I usually talk about some of our best moments together and some of our worst. The latter can cause some uncomfortableness, yet there’s always growth behind the feeling of uneasiness. We’ll sometimes look through old photos of us and recollect the events with sharp retention (all her, my memory is shit most times). Then we’ll discuss what we want our marriage to look like going forward and not only how we can be better spouses for each other, but better people for ourselves. At some point the realization will hit me like an overly aggressive security guard at Follie’s (RIP), that this is what marriage is truly about - complementing one another.

I’m aware that marriage is not a goal for everyone. As everyone shouldn’t be married. It’s a selfless act depending on the reasons you decided on the union. Selfless in the sense that you’re actively reducing your ego to nothing and making sacrifices to ensure your partner is successful. Perfect example would be our decision, as a couple, to eventually stay in the suburbs west of Atlanta. I wanted to move to the north side of town to live closer to Julia’s parents who both are recently retired. Additionally, that side of town is just more metropolitan. We decided to stay, because the Mrs. had built an armory of social capital and it’s served our family well thus far. Partners forgo post-baccalaureate degrees until it makes more sense, take on the financial burden while the other spouse is in school, or even move out of a state for a better career opportunity. All of these examples come with some sort of uncomfortableness, but they’re all the manifestation of love in action.

I still believe in marriage, because brunch isn’t as fun by yourself. I still believe in marriage, because people watching is more entertaining when the other person understands your attempts at humor. I still believe in marriage, because I still believe in the Black family no matter what form that may come in. I still believe in marriage, because I want the idea of a man loving one woman to still be seen as respectable. People can love others in many forms, but somehow the thought of loving just one person, no matter how fleeting, is no longer fashionable. I still believe in marriage, because I want my children to see that a spouse should compliment them and not compete with them.

I’m beyond ecstatic that I chose the right spouse for me and vice versa. We’ve grown up with each other and had to help each other navigate everything that life has thrown our way. I’ve fallen in love with the same woman several times over due to her evolving. That act is probably the greatest lesson that I’ve learned while being married - they will change and so will you. Likes, dislikes, passions, and triggers are constantly changing. As someone committed to a forever, you learn to adapt and love your partner for who they are and not who you imagine them to be. I still believe in marriage, because our union is limitless. It doesn’t bind nor restrict, it enhances and liberates. It takes us out of our shells and forces us to look deeply into the mirror. Marriage can challenge you and frustrate you, most importantly it pushes you to live a better life, because yours is no longer your sole responsibility. I still believe in marriage, because I wholeheartedly still believe in mine. Happy eleventh anniversary my love and here’s to many more.

What I’m Listening To

It’s only right that I display more of my mushy side in this week’s newsletter and dedicate my audio preferences to “Pretty Little Fears” by 6LACK and J. Cole. The song is one of the doper tracks from 6LACK’s album, East Atlanta Love Letter. It’s one of those collaborations I was never expecting, but glad that it exists. Line for line, Jermaine says what I feel about my wife that I could have damn near written the bars myself. Pull this song up on whatever digital streaming platform you use and hold your special someone’s hand while y’all zone out.

Notables

In almost no surprise to anyone that’s been aware of all of the attention the gender pay gap has been receiving recently, a 2018 study by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis stated that married men earn much more on average than anyone else in the United States. The study doesn’t try to imply that men simply being married would increase their wages, but there could be a possibility that men who earn more are getting married. Either way, let’s pay people equitably and keep getting to the bag.

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect—you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.” ― Bob Marley

I’m taking a break this coming week from a weekly newsletter update to recharge. Big changes happening with yours truly. I’m celebrating 11 years of marriage with my best friend. As I encourage others to do, I bet on myself and I’ll starting a role with a new organization in the coming weeks. The wife and I are going on vacation this week and getting back to business later. Take care of yourselves this holiday weekend. Be safe and stay dangerous.

This week more than ever, I’ve come to realize that I have direct access to the connect. I’ve been facilitating plays for the last few months now and I deserve some form of compensation for it. You’re probably thinking I’m self-incriminating right now, but I would hope you’re not downplaying my intelligence to that low of a degree. No, I’m not Franklin Saint, yet I have a straight line to what you need - therapy.

For quite some time now, I’ve been fielding requests from friends and family to provide the contact information to my therapist. He’s worked with me for close to a year now, I’ve made some advances in my life through some intense sessions and my own willingness to “do the work”. Therapy has taught me to take ownership of what I can control and be at peace with the many things that I cannot. I’ve discovered some underlying issues that were brought to the surface that I’m still working through and finding out more about myself that I would care to know. My therapist is amazing, no wonder so many people either want to use his services or have him work with a loved one. It’s an added bonus that he’s a Black man. That shared experience has been invaluable for my counseling.

We’re fighting battles internally and outwardly. Not to engage in Oppression Olympics here, but Black men face a unique set of challenges. We’re routinely underemployed, face discrimination in the housing market, and have been a target for law enforcement. Those issues combined, plus more, can create an internal environment that triggers depression or anxiety. Go ahead and add in post traumatic stress disorder caused by things witnessed or experienced. We all have our varied levels of trauma that we’re dealing with, yet many of us mask them through sex, substance abuse, or projection.

In a perfect world we’re running optimally to be the best versions for our families and ourselves. Realistically, we’re being depleted through depression and anxiety. As much as mental health awareness has been stressed in the last few years, many of us are still not taking the opportunity to get the help we sorely need. As costly as therapy can be at times, there are free alternatives through your employer’s EAP (employee assistance program) that can connect you directly to a professional counselor. If you’ve climbed the corporate ladder the amount of years that I have, a little bit of counseling can go a long way. As Black men in the corporate world and those of us in leadership positions, the stress that comes along with that can be debilitating. More often than not we take that stress out on those we’re here to protect.

In no way am I qualified to recognize mental health issues or diagnose them, however I’ve seen the symptoms I’ve experienced reflected in others. We can’t keep the stoic facade up for too long. It will crumble, just like the relationships we strive to protect because we’re not seeking out the help that we need. Strength is exhibited through the various ways that men protect, provide, and enhance our communities. Somehow, someway we need to be vulnerable enough to express that same level of strength towards ourselves.

What I’m Listening To

Outside is finally open for the rest of the nation (we never closed in Georgia) and that means some of the top tier rappers are beginning to release material. J.Cole released one of the more anticipated hip hop albums this year with The Off-Season. I salute his efforts to live out his dreams by playing basketball professionally, but the selfish part of me wants him to continue rapping until he’s an old man. Stand out tracks on this album were “95.south”, “my life”, “100.mil”, and “pride.is.the.devil”.

Notables

Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness month? This month has had that designation since 1949  and founded by the Mental Health America organization. If you need help or know someone that does, you can find more information here.

“I couldn't rest, I'm barely standin'. About to go to pieces, screamin' peace. And though my soul was deleted, I couldn't see it. I had my mind full of demons tryin' to break free. They planted seeds and they hatched, sparkin' the flame. Inside my brain like a match, such a dirty game.” - Tupac Shakur

Not too long ago my brothers (my actual blood and the ones close as blood) met up at a cigar bar to catch up and enjoy the finest rolls of tobacco. These occasional meetups bring forth the greatest conversations that would make good online content. We often find ourselves discussing life, family, and business. Many of our conversations are not only centered on what we’re currently working on, but our short-term and long-term goals. If you’re asking what some of those goals are, you would be correct in the assumption they were about getting and keeping capital.

Money motivates us. I have no shame in admitting that. Money is not the only driving force in our ambition. As Black men in this country, we’ve learned early on that money is a vehicle. And in the United States, it’s the largest voice that people listen to. A threat directly to how someone obtains or retains capital is one that is quickly acknowledged. That aside, we’ve learned that having a considerable amount of money brings options and options eventually bring freedom.

We’re privileged that we can have these discussions with each other. Conversations that can meander from discussing investing in cryptocurrencies, building businesses, and leaving a substantial inheritance for our families. For too often men that look like us are not included in the wealth building we’re engaged in on a routine basis. I’ve looked at the numbers pertaining to wealth by demographics in the United States and it’s fucking bleak. According to The Federal Reserve, the wealth by race/ethnicity per household was $279K for Black people, $234K for Hispanics, and $1.2 million for white people. This is data from 2020, which saw a sharp increase for white people over the last twenty years and abysmal increases for the Black population.

There are a few factors as to why wealth has not increased in our communities - employment, home ownership, and generational wealth. Having a livable wage, ownership in a property that builds equity, and access to pass along the capital to your family have been barriers Black folks in America have been fighting for a long time. Even when we are employed, we face bias at our employers and upward mobility is often impeded no matter how qualified we are for the roles. When we do own homes, our property is often appraised far lower than our counterparts (read this). Those two factors combined impact what we can leave as inheritance to build a legacy. Looking deeper into The Federal Reserves reporting and surveys, 30% of white people received an inheritance compared to 10% of Black people and 7% of Hispanics, respectively.  Generational wealth isn’t a catchy buzzword on social media, but actions we need to execute each day.

The reason why my friends and I are always discussing money and how to acquire more, because we know it fucking matters. Even with the odds against us and the powers that be systemically finding ways to rob us of our futures, we’re still fighting. Now more than ever is the time for us to “plot, plan, strategize, organize, and mobilize”. The brother Killer Mike was definitely talking about activism in his viral quote, but I’d be damned if it didn’t apply to getting this paper.

What I’m Listening To

Recently, I’ve been slowing things down somewhat in life and musical tastes. I’ve been listening to the EP For My Friends by my fellow Nigerian countryman, Jacob Banks. Once you listen to the first song on the album, you’ll instantly recognize Jacob’s voice. Banks has been featured in many television and movie soundtracks. Songs that stood out to me on the project are “Devil That I Know”, “Stranger”, “Too Much”, and “Found”.

Notables

Per a USA Today analysis, only 3 of the 279 top executives listed at the 50 biggest companies in the S&P 100 were Black. Those numbers are very bleak after a year of corporations attempting to make inroads with people of African descent in America. 

"Endeavor to work as hard as possible to attain a new aim with each day that comes by. Don't go to bed until you have achieved something productive." - Aliko Dangote

As someone that has been working from home since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, in March of 2020, I admit that I do not envy the plight of the working mother. After my wife’s job called for her to return to the office, I found myself at home working a full-time job and ensuring two kids we’re getting everything they needed from education, nourishment, and attention. Admittedly, some days were more challenging than others and with no true escape I found myself relying on a lot of the lessons learned through my countless therapy sessions. Giving myself grace that some things just wouldn’t be accomplished on certain days and increasing tablet time saved my sanity.

What I’ve realized in this year of working remotely, working mothers have it hard as fuck. I don’t know how any of them do it. I’m usually exhausted and checked out by 2pm each day and I haven’t even gone through half of what moms do that actually have to leave home. Is this the hidden effort women undertake that we men refuse to acknowledge? If so, let’s not only pay women at equitable salaries, but bring forward the fact that they take on more responsibilities once they clock out of the role that actually makes them money.

Pre-pandemic I stepped my game up more around the house just to ensure that I’m contributing an equal amount as my wife. There are a few responsibilities that I take on that don’t seem too gendered to me that some husbands would probably balk at the thought of doing. For instance, I do all of the household laundry. I actually enjoy it (folding included). We play off our strengths in certain areas and sometimes hold fast to some gendered tasks (my wife ain’t taking out the trash). I usually prepare breakfast and since the kids are at home with me, I’m preparing lunch as well. It’s gotten to the point where the kids bypass their mom on the weekends and hit me up for their meal desires. Who knew these little fucking crumb snatchers could eat so much? Regardless, many of us modern fathers are taking more of an active role in the household to balance the load.

As many parts of the world continue to go back to at least a portion of normalcy, I wonder what the workforce will look like in the foreseeable future. Will companies continue to allow employees flexible options on where and how they work? Will we see the four-day work week come into fruition? What opportunities are there for workers (especially moms) on the front line to have more of a balance between life at home and their careers? I don’t have any of these answers, yet culturally my friends (those of us that are fathers) can shift the narrative of what it means to be a dad in the United States. We have a massive opportunity, not only to lessen the burden on our spouses, but lead by example for our sons.

As we near Mother’s Day, it’s important that we show the same amount of reverence and effort to working moms we do on that day year round. I’m proud to be a (working) house husband. As progressive as I feel I am, there’s no way in this life or the next will I be a full-time house husband. Call me old-fashioned, but my father and all of the men in my life have always worked. Even as I hold on to some of my more conservative values, I need to acknowledge the men out there stepping up and willing to be uncomfortable to ensure their families succeed. Cheers to my fellow house husbands, let us unite under the banner of crying toddlers and peanut butter sandwiches (because we forgot to buy the jelly).

Justice Or Just Us

Stolen artifacts from Nigeria will be returned by Germany

In an effort of reconciliation from colonization, Germany will be returning thousands of artworks stolen in 1897 from the Kingdom of Benin. These artworks and countless others from museums around Europe and the United States will be gradually returned to their rightful owners in west Africa. Additionally, there are plans for a forthcoming museum in Nigeria to house many of the stolen artifacts.

Business Moves

First Black-owned brewery in Atlanta opens

Atlanta now has its first Black-owned brewery courtesy of married couple, Clarence and Donnica Boston. The couple opened Hippin Hops Brewery in East Atlanta recently with an assortment of beer on tap and a New Orleans-inspired menu. The Bostons have plans on opening two more breweries in the Atlanta-area.

What I’m Listening To

You definitely know the weather is getting warmer when certain music artists release music. This week I’ve been listening to a person that’s co-owned the spring/summer season for quite a while. Recently, DJ Khaled released his much-anticipated album, Khaled Khaled, with a plethora of guests. Stand out tracks from the album include, “THANKFUL”, “THIS MY YEAR”, SORRY NOT SORRY”, and “I CAN HAVE IT ALL”.

Notables

According to the latest report from Chicago’s Office of the Inspector General, Black men in the city of Chicago were targeted by police more often than anyone else from 2017 to 2020. The report found that overwhelmingly the targets of police search warrants were for Black men, who were 25.3 times more often to be targeted than white men.

“The function of freedom is to free someone else.” - Toni Morrison

When I revamped this newsletter to what you see before you, I had two main objectives in mind. First, provide myself an outlet where I can nurture my creativity and hold myself accountable to creating content. Second, I created Rewriting The Narrative to address a need of Black men owning their own media. Stories for Black men, about Black men, and curated by Black men. There’s a disconnect between who we really are and who we are portrayed to be. My mission is to not only empower us to control our image, but provide us with options on how we can be our best selves. 

As Black men, our lights have shined brightly since the beginning of time, yet are now extinguishing prior to the highest peak of their flames. Black men are dying. We’re well aware that State-sanctioned executions (death by law enforcement) are one of the contributors. There’s not a week that goes by that yet another unarmed Black man has been gunned down by the police. Not as sensationalized by mainstream press, Black men are finding their demise at the hands of silent killers. We’re continually losing our lives due to poor health. The results are a continual mourning.

In the past few weeks, the Hip Hop community has lost two Black men due to some type of health complication. DMX passed away a couple of weeks ago from a heart attack due to a drug overdose. In the following week, rapper Black Rob passed away due to kidney failure after surviving several strokes. Countless Black men have transitioned early not just in Hip Hop, but in various communities. Black men have one of the lowest life expectancy rates of any demographic. It’s time we become more aware of our mortality and go to work on changing our fate.

By no means am I a medical professional or can give any sort of advice on individual health conditions, but I can speak to my own experiences. Sometime after graduating from college and entering the workforce, I saw my weight quickly balloon to numbers on the scale that I was not familiar with seeing. Having been on the more slim side the majority of my life, I would have welcomed those pounds with open arms, had they been muscle. A mixture of making “real” money and partying excessively caught up to me in the worst ways. I hardly cooked, consumed alcohol excessively, and only worked out when it was convenient for me. In short, I got fat really fast. Somewhere around that time, I unwillingly went to see a doctor for a physical and some blood work. My lab results were sobering when they returned. I was diagnosed with prediabetes and prehypertension, much later I would be diagnosed with sleep apnea. What the entire fuck was I doing to myself?

I had to make some drastic changes, if I continued down the path I was traveling, I would probably not have made it into my fifties. With the help of my wife, I switched up my diet, incorporated fitness back into my life, and had regular check ups with my primary physician. Since that diagnosis, my weight would fluctuate up and down due to whatever my commitment was to the foods that I ate. Currently, my weight is in a decent place, but could be much better. I’ve given up alcohol entirely for almost two years now, yet sugar keeps calling my name. Additionally, I stay active through training for various races and using the makeshift gym in my basement. I’m taking ownership over my health through the things that I have control over. So many of us brothers aren’t always as fortunate to have access to decent health care and non-processed foods at the ready.

In therapy, I’ve learned to control what I could and learn to respond appropriately to the things that were not in my control. I’m privileged enough to not only have decent access to health care, but be in the financial place to take care of myself in the event of a serious issue arising. Not all of my brothers have the same luxury, from North America to Africa to Europe, our lives are being lost often before we can fulfill their potential.

Black men are dying. Black men are living as well. We’re surviving and I want to see us thriving. The State would rather see us eliminated than being our best selves. Let’s make our health our top priority, because we can’t secure a legacy when our bodies aren’t performing optimally. Rest in power to all of the Black men that became ancestors far too soon and let’s use their lives as the spark to light our flames of greatness.

Business Moves

Curren$y releasing NFT-only album

NFTs (non-fungible tokens) have been getting attention lately on the internet. In an effort to seek an opportunity in the growing market, rapper Curren$y has released an NFT-only album available to his fans. The seven track EP titled Financial District, will be a part of various tiers that will be available to fans. An NFT is data stored on a digital ledger and certifies an item is unique. NFTs can represent audio, video, photos, digital art, and a host of various digital files.

Sports

D. Wade purchases ownership stake in NBA team

A big congratulations goes out to former NBA player, Dwyane Wade, as he’s purchased an ownership stake in the Utah Jazz. Wade becomes a small collection of former NBA players that have ownership stakes in various teams within the league. Wade joins majority team owner, Ryan Smith, and a host of other individuals as team owners.

What I’m Listening To

As a writer and an introvert, I often live in my head. My imagination often flows free and I dream of careers for myself. One job title that finds itself recurring in my daydreams is, trapper. I spent the majority of my older childhood in the suburbs and school has always been my hustle. A man can dream though. A rapper that’s given me more content for my fantasies is Bankroll Freddie. Hailing from Arkansas, he’s one of the latest additions to the QC label. His album Big Bank, is legit unskippable. Stand out tracks include: “Last Real Trap Rapper”, “Real Street Nigga”, “Pop It”, and “Rich Off Grass (Remix)”.

Notables

As we continue to maintain our peace during troubling times, there are more opportunities out there to strengthen our mental health. Did you know there is a new free therapy program for Black men? Black Men Heal, is a Philadelphia-based non-profit organization that provides access to mental health treatment, psycho-education, and community resources to Black men.

“Changes cannot be accomplished and will not be forthcoming if the diet has not changed.” – Dr. Sebi

As no surprise to anyone Black in America or the world for that matter, trauma continues to haunt us with no reprise. We’re constantly physiologically attacked at every turn in of our existence. It’s all so fucking exhausting. I honestly wish I could ignore it for the betterment of my mental health, unfortunately, I cannot. One doesn’t just simply exist in this world and be Black. Our skin is something of a beacon for admiration, fetishization, and discrimination. As we can count on the sun rising and setting each day, we can guarantee that America will continue to inflict trauma onto Black folks.

In these last couple of weeks, Black people in America especially, have had to deal with the Derek Chauvin trial, DMX’s untimely demise, and the piece of shit that left Jacob Blake paralyzed the eventually returning back to duty with no reprimand. To finally add insult to injury, the death of Daunte Wright.

Feel free to research on your own how a 20-year-old young man who was a father, brother, and son was gunned down by a police officer that claims she intended to use her taser on Daunte instead of her pistol. Add that to the long list of police officers that somehow “thought” something which eventually led to the death of a Black person. Yeah, accidents happen with the police, they just conveniently seem to happen more with Black people in America. I’m extremely tired and I’ve grown too accustomed to the State-sanctioned death of Black people.

America is being America again and she would rather see herself destroyed than work towards the aims she extols - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s a mantra that only rings true for so few of us. One cannot claim to be the greatest country on one hand and commit the gravest atrocities to its citizens on another hand. The hypocrisy is not only appalling, but pathetic. Through all of this madness happening, we’ll find ourselves in this same place a few weeks from now. The trauma will continue unabated.

Over these next few days, Black people will hear from politicians to celebrities to corporations on how truly apologetic they are for our plight. Black people will be trolled, gaslit, and dismissed. People will make social media posts in solidarity. Corporations will pander to our economic prowess. Politicians will promise to enact better policies. Nothing will change. I repeat, nothing will fucking change. Another Black person will be dead in the streets by next month. Rinse and repeat. 

I'm just so fucking tired of the senseless disregard for Black bodies by the State. It’s the same country of people that couldn’t pause it’s own self-interests to ensure people in its own borders didn’t continue to spread a disease that has killed over half a million of its own. It’s the apathy for me. And it will not change. America will continue being America.

Business Moves

Flutterwave, fintech company, gets billion-dollar valuation

There’s more refreshing news coming out of Nigeria, as Flutterwave, has obtained a billion-dollar valuation. The company specializes in financial technology that “provides the easiest and most reliable payments solutions for businesses anywhere in the world.” Flutterwave has secured another round of funding that will help the company speed up customer acquisition in its present markets.

Sports

Eddie George named head coach of Tennessee State University football team

Tennessee State University has hired former National Football League player, Eddie George, as head coach for their football program. George is a Pro Bowl running back and former college Heisman Trophy winner. George is a first time coach, looking to turn around TSU’s program and make them eventual contenders in college football.

What I’m Listening To

Admittedly, I’m a sucker for singers. Those that have voices that truly carry and are memorable. I found such a singer in Shantel May. I first heard her as a feature on dvsn’s song “...Again”. If you’ve listened to the track, then you know she killed it. Recently, she released an EP entitled, Don’t Let Them See You Cry. It’s a great piece of work that is regrettably short, but leaves you eventually wanting more. All the tracks are standouts. Go listen to it on all of the digital streaming platforms.

Notables

On April 15th of each year, Major League Baseball celebrates the legacy of Jackie Robinson. The Hall of Fame baseball player is herald for breaking the color barrier during the modern era of baseball in 1947. As such, Robinson endured racial epithets and countless discriminatory acts during his days as a Brooklyn Dodger. In 1997, the MLB retired his number (42) throughout the entire league. The tradition of Jackie Robinson Day began April 15, 2004 and sees all players, coaches, and umpires wearing the No. 42 to celebrate his great legacy.

“There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires” ― Nelson Mandela

Since the earliest moments I can recollect, I’ve been a fan of an array of music genres. I enjoy pop, country, soul, and rock. Even with my ears being so tuned to those sounds, rap music always received the majority of my attention. As an older millennial, there wasn’t a rapper that captured our collective consciousness during adolescence than DMX.

Dark Man X’s presence on screen and through audio was partially intimidating, yet comforting. The rapper, legally known as Earl Simmons, was a whirlwind of emotion and trauma that magically validated many of my feelings as a teenager. His debut album, It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot, was released when I was 14 years old, the age when I was the king of angst. Each track on that album, including the skits, spoke to me in so many ways. Whether it was thoughts of remorse, revenge, or reverence, I was glued to X’s every word (and barks).

No need for me to discuss DMX’s death, because his life provided us so much to celebrate. A man that dealt with substance abuse, trauma, and mental health illness since being a child, yet succeeded in several industries where few make it. I’ve been in awe of X’s perseverance through tragedy and his vulnerability concerning past trauma. His testimony, songs, poetry, and prayers have given me and countless others the courage to face our own demons. What X gave to us cannot be simply defined through his music, it was through his ministry. A man of the people that openly shared his story and encouraged others to not only forgive loved ones, but forgive themselves. That level of selflessness cannot be summarized through records sold or movie ticket sales.

I’m resolved in the assurance that X received his figurative flowers during his life. He was an artist that was loved and appreciated throughout his career even through his personal struggles. He taught me to be vulnerable, especially when this world forces me to be stoic. He gave me the courage to face my own issues and showed me that I didn’t have to be defined by them. If DMX’s mission was to help change the life of at least one person in this world, then he succeeded beyond measure. He gave us so much. Hopefully, we’ll follow his example and give back to those who need it the most as well.

Business Moves

Verzuz and Peloton partnership

The Verzuz brand continues to make moves as they have partnered with fitness business Peloton. The partnership sees Verzuz battles being available to Peloton users as they power through workouts. Additionally, users can select which Verzuz artist team that they’re on and continue Verzuz’s spirit of competition.

What I’m Listening To

With the untimely demise of Earl Simmons, I’ve been going down memory lane and playing some of my favorite albums in his catalog and my favorite guest appearances he made on artists that I appreciate. This list is non-exhaustive, but here are a few tracks that I’ve been listening to: “Slippin’”, “Money, Cash, Hoes”, “How It’s Goin’ Down”, “Black Out”, and “Who We Be”. These songs don’t even scratch the surface of DMX’s musical talents, but they’re all attached to a particular memory from my youth. One of those days I’ll divulge how some of these songs relate to my past, but for now I’ll celebrate the legend of DMX.

Notables

DMX is included in a small circle of musical artists to have released two Billboard-certified number one albums in the same calendar year. Released in 1998, It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot and Flesh Of My Flesh, Blood Of My Blood both reached number one status and were multi-platinum albums.

“I’ma shine regardless, my steps have already been ordained. My steps have already been written, the Lord has already written my steps out so no one can do anything to stop it.” - DMX

What’s good, young man?

Right now you’re going through a quagmire of uncertainty, self-doubt, and self-sabotaging behavior. You’ll claim everything is fine, but deep down inside that couldn’t be further from the truth. You may want to take a few minutes to comprehend what I’m about to tell you. Your ignorance is on display and shining at peak radiance. You’re in a dark place, but it’s one that you’ll climb out of with help. It’s probably best I give you more perspective on where you’re at and where you’re going.

You ended up marrying that girl. You probably should’ve left the others alone way sooner than you did. You unfortunately burned some bridges through your inability to just be honest on how you felt about them and what you really wanted from them. Parts of their outlook on men were probably shaped through their experiences with you. You really can’t blame them if some of their outlook skews to the negative.

You still mostly run with the same crew. You’re extremely close with a few of them, time and distance have morphed the relationships with the others. You all have grown and matured in your own ways, yet some have not changed at all. You deal with them accordingly and meet them where they are. You’re not disappointed in their actions anymore or how they’ve treated you, because you’re resigned to accepting them for who they present themselves to be. Your bond will grow even tighter with your day ones and that brotherhood will continue to flourish.

I remember once you told me that you wanted to be married with children and live in a beautiful home where love resides. You’ll obtain that and much more. Don’t rest on your laurels just yet, the Grand Architect has more in store for you. You’ll only achieve the new success through your own sheer will. Unfortunately, the level of prosperity that’s awaiting won’t just be handed to you, but you’re already aware of that. Nothing has ever been bestowed upon you except your name and even that is earned daily. 

You won’t become a lawyer. To be candid, that was never a career you truly wanted for yourself. Like most choices in your life up to this point, they were not manifestations from you. You’ll soon find the courage to forge your own path and you’ll disappoint family members and mentors, but your admiration in yourself will outweigh what others think.

That mental breakdown that you had will cause some damage. Some relationships will be salvaged, but parts of them may remain irreparable. The depression and anxiety you’re suffering now will continue unchecked and will almost cost you your family. Mental health isn’t a catchy buzzword now, but you’ll learn about it soon enough. You may think you’re strong now, but you’ll surprise yourself shortly. As you’re reading this, you’re probably nursing a hangover or strategically planning your next binge drinking activities. You’ll continue to consume alcohol for a long time to mask stress, depression, and negative thoughts. That girl you’re currently dating will help you along the way. You’ll initially dismiss her overtures, but your knuckleheaded ass will finally listen. You’ll not only find sobriety, but you’ll discover your purpose.

You’ll slowly notice that you’re evolving and becoming increasingly self-aware. It didn’t arrive from happenstance, but through consistent feedback and reflection. You need to listen for a moment, I’m proud of the man you’re becoming. Now more than ever, you need to hear these words. I’m so thankful that you’re choosing to press on, regardless of any of the challenges that you’re currently facing. Let’s be totally honest, I wouldn’t be here if you decided to give up.

Sincerely,

The man that you become

Doing The Work

Black-owned bank and Terrence J partner to improve financial literacy for HBCU students

Terrence J is partnering with Black-owned bank First Boulevard to assist HBCU (Historically Black College University) students with financial literacy. The partnership is designed to provide HBCU students with resources and tools to make better financial decisions and be better equipped to achieve financial success. The partnership, Project Tassels, aims to help 1,000 HBCU students.

Patrick Mahomes partnering with the HBCUs for all-star game

NFL player and Super Bowl winner, Patrick Mahomes, is partnering with HBCUs (Historically Black College University) and his foundation, 15 and Mahomies, to create an all-star game that will feature NFL prospects. The game will be broadcast on the NFL Network, where the top 100 HBCU football players will participate.

What I’m Listening To

Rod Wave is an artist that I admittedly discovered sometime last year while quarantined with my family. The best description for his music is melodic rap, at least that’s the current terminology. Having seen major success with his previous album, he recently released SoulFly. Not going to lie, it’s one of the better albums of 2021 thus far. Stand out songs include the title track, “Don’t Forget”, “Tombstone”, and “OMDB”.

Notables

Musa I, also known as Mansa Musa, has been described as the wealthiest individual in all of human history. Musa ruled over the Mali Empire for over 25 years, which flourished culturally.

"I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to." - Jimi Hendrix

I’ve had countless lessons over the years concerning fatherhood. One of the best things I’ve learned through experience is, you will fuck up. Not just a small fuck up either. As a dad, particularly one raising Black kids, you’re going to fuck up majorly. My fuck ups have ranged anywhere from telling my kids a watermelon would grow in their stomachs if they swallowed their seeds to picking them up from school with seconds left before a hefty penalty would’ve been levied. Rest assured, I’ve made more mistakes as a dad than I care to admit.

Extending ourselves grace has been the mantra during the COVID-19 pandemic. That grace needs to cover all aspects of our lives, especially parenting. We don’t always say the right things or do the right things, yet the desire to constantly be better than the day before should always be paramount. 

I never imagined becoming the “I’ll make it up to you later” dad, yet I was dangerously becoming that guy while navigating an airborne disease, purchasing a new home, and coming to grips with underlying stress. During that time, my family was still my number one priority, but giving them the necessary attention was not. While quarantined, I did what some parents have done, allowed tablets and video games to fill a void, while we handled our own shit. After reflecting on my relationship with my own father when I was my children’s age, I had to really provide my kids the mindfulness they deserved.

Amazingly enough, I can recollect almost every single moment I spent extended time with my dad. Those moments shaped me into the father that I am today. My dad is your quintessential west African immigrant to the United States. He gained college degrees here and eventually moved a very young family across the Atlantic for more opportunities. 

Even while in a land of perceived abundance, my dad worked two jobs to support our family. Time spent with my brothers and I was sometimes rare due to our dad’s work schedule, yet he managed to be in our lives as intimately as possible. I remember vividly the trips to amusement parks, friends’ birthday parties, the movie theater, learning to change a flat tire, and countless other events. He rarely ever made excuses on why he couldn’t spend time with us. As I grow older, I often wonder just how tired he had to be. Providing quality time to a wife and three boys can be exhausting enough, but add two jobs and a host of other commitments and that soon becomes some next level tiredness.

As great of a provider my dad was growing up and even with all of the time he spent with my brothers and I, we still bumped heads as I aged. These were equal parts growing pains for me and learning to raise children in a foreign environment for him. He didn’t have a manual on how to raise Nigerian kids in America, at the same time I grew increasingly arrogant and stubborn. We argued over the colleges I wanted to attend, future career choices, and my focus on girls over my studies. With more mature eyes, I can see that he was just doing his best at the time. Ironically, not too far removed from what I’m doing with my own children.

Being in this pandemic has helped me listen more and strengthen my patience. As a father, I’ve been apologizing quickly, yet changing my behavior just as quick. I’ve learned to forgive my dad for what I perceived to be his shortcomings, while forgiving myself for falling short of my own expectations. Now more than ever, our kids need our attention, free from the distractions of our phones or commitments from our careers. More than anything, my kids just want my attention and approval without judgement. I know the feeling of getting your father’s approval, it’s like receiving a high five from God. My mission is to extend that same level of joy to my kids. Hopefully, over the years they can forgive my missteps and look back on their childhood with me the same way I recollect mine with my dad.

Doing The Work

The quest for more Black men to become doctors

Black Men In White Coats is an organization created by Dr. Dale Okorodudu designed to inspire, expose, and mentor young Black men in the medical field. The organization was founded in 2013 after a report published by the Association of American Medical Colleges highlighted the low enrollment of Black male applicants to medical school. Dr. Okorodudu wants to provide awareness to this enrollment decline through mentoring and showcasing a short documentary that addresses the grave consequences when there are lowered numbers of Black men as physicians.

Entertainment

Eddie Murphy inducted into NAACP Image Awards Hall of Fame

The NAACP announced they will be inducting actor, comedian, and filmmaker Eddie Murphy into their Image Awards Hall of Fame during this year’s award show. Murphy is known for his early start in comedy then television role in Saturday Night Live. As Eddie’s career continued to grow, he starred in films such as Beverly Hills Cop, Coming To America, and The Nutty Professor.

What I’m Listening To

This week I’ve been listening to a hodgepodge of different music genres. What’s really been in heavy rotation is an album that dropped eleven years ago, New Amerykah Part Two by Erykah Badu. It’s smooth listening throughout the album. What was impressive for me was Erykah’s R&B interpretations of some hip hop classics. Stand out songs include “20 Feet Tall”, “Window Seat”, “Get MuNNY”, and “Gone Baby, Don’t Be Long”.

Notables

In not-so shocking data, an article written in the peer-reviewed journal, International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, reveals that Black men are still discriminated against at higher numbers than other demographics regardless of economic status. We’ve known all along that our money will never shield us from the ugliness of racism, neither will the way we dress or speak. Additionally, we know that discrimination takes a mental and physical tool as well. Black men, make your mental health a priority. Stay safe and stay dangerous. Research can be found (here).

The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism. - Wole Soyinka

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Things have been hectic globally to say the least. With all that’s currently going on, I definitely need to pause and reflect on things that have transpired. Take a walk down memory lane with me. The time frame is winter 2001. The Ravens are fresh off a Super Bowl win against the Giants and one of the more “interesting” halftime shows was performed. A couple of weeks later, Destiny’s Child released the single “Survivor”. Twenty years ago, I had no idea that this particular song would be the theme music for the millennial generation. We survived the 9/11 terrorist attacks just to enter a workforce that was in a midst of a recession. There was some job recovery, yet soon after was the Great Recession and now the economic impacts of COVID-19 have affected us as well. Of course, there are exceptions. There are numerous millennials doing extremely well in these dire circumstances, but we all could be doing so much better. Figuratively, the unfortunate truth is that we’ve been left to hold the bag. Boomers and Gen X (yes, you too) have not only ravaged our economy, but have done serious damage to our climate. Now we’re left to clean up this mess with the hopes that the generations after us can reverse some of the harm.

We millennials are often negatively stereotyped of being entitled, wanting special privileges, or even being job hoppers. Who can honestly blame us for having any of these attributes even though they are large mischaracterizations from previous generations? Why wouldn’t a millennial move from employer to employer for a moderate pay raise especially when the rise of inflation is not matching merit increases? In a study conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research, millennials had less wealth in 2016 than previous generations did at that age. This impacts not only our ability to pay off student loans, own a home, but save for retirement. Compound all of this with historical racial inequity in the United States, even though millennials are the most diverse generation. More of this inequity has been exposed during our time dealing with the coronavirus. Black and brown people largely make up the essential workforce and have had to make difficult choices on whether to feed their families or risk contracting the disease. A rock and a hard place would be the most appropriate phrase to use here, but the dynamics of race, age, and the economy need a more telling description of what we’re truly faced with. Simply put, it’s damn near impossible to win right now.

This isn’t a victimization piece, it’s merely an understanding of where we collectively are as a generation and how we arrived in our current situation. Over the years I’ve become more solutionary, these cultural criticisms don’t come unaccompanied. Of the many solutions that I have for millennials to get out of the mess we didn’t create, is to provide each of us with student loan forgiveness. Experian, the multinational consumer credit reporting company, estimates the American student loan debt at $1.57 trillion. Erasing this debt, effectively will create generational wealth for millions of Americans. It grants people, particularly Black people, an opportunity to either purchase a home or fund an entrepreneurial endeavor. On average, it takes borrowers 20 years to repay a student loan debt. That type of length for a repayment and the interest that’s tacked on forces many of us to live through our peak income generating years in the hole. Blessed are those that obtained and kept a scholarship or had the resources available to pay for college without the need of a loan. Many of us didn’t have those advantages and are actively ensuring the next generation of scholars do not experience the same.

On a micro level, having a side hustle, part-time job, or some form of residual income helps alleviate the blows we’ve all faced through the downturn in the economy. When quarantine started in the U.S., just over a year ago, many of us were not only forced to think outside of the box for income, but transform what were once hobbies into successful businesses. There are numerous success stories of relative unknowns blossoming into social media influencers, people finding new opportunities with existing technology, and individuals creating a new source of income with skills that were being underutilized pre-COVID. Even with traditional higher education not always being a viable resource, there are platforms like Coursera and Udemy that allow people to learn new skill sets in a wide array of areas. I’ve taken courses on project management, writing, and investing. The applicable knowledge gained from these courses far outweigh the costs to enroll. Additionally, there are forms of media that also provide education on personal finance. Having produced two podcasts and co-hosted one, I’m still in love with that form of media. Podcasts have multi purposes for me, but one of the more integral uses is gaining knowledge that can be applied in my life. When it comes to personal finance, I listen to His And Her Money and Brown Ambition. They have practical solutions and don’t speak in all of the financial jargon that usually turns people off in the areas of saving and generating more income. 

As a generation, we’ve seen it all and most of us haven’t even turned 40 yet. We’re down bad y’all. Our lives were forged through some of the worst tragedies and unfortunate events in recent history, yet we’re still here. We won’t stop. We’ll work harder. We’ll keep on surviving.

Business Moves

LeBron James becomes part owner of Boston Red Sox

NBA superstar LeBron James, along with his business partner Maverick Carter, have become partners in the Fenway Sports Group. This partnership gives LeBron an ownership stake in the Boston Redsox. He currently has a stake in the Premier League soccer team Liverpool, which is under the FSG umbrella. James and Carter are the first Black partners at FSG.

Entertainment

Swizz Beatz and Timbaland sell Verzuz, gain equity in Triller

The live streaming music platform, Verzuz, has been acquired by Triller. Verzuz was founded by entertainers, Swizz Beatz and Timbaland. Along with the acquisition, Timbaland and Swizz Beatz have become shareholders in Triller and allocated a portion of their equity to all performers that have appeared on Verzuz.

Justice Or Just Us

The case of Kendrick Johnson is being reopened

According to Lowndes County (in Georgia) Sheriff Ashley Paulk, an investigation into the death of Kendrick Johnson will be reopened. Kendrick was found dead in a rolled up gym mat eight years ago at Lowndes County High School. His death was ruled as an accident, his family asserts there was foul play after they hired a pathologist to determine the cause of death being “unexplained, apparent non-accidental, blunt force trauma”. The investigation can take up to six months.

What I’m Listening To

I didn’t know how much I loved American folk music until I actually started to listen to it. Hip Hop will always be my first love with R&B as a mistress I actively entertain. This folk music though! With my infatuation growing stronger, I happened across the music of Valerie June. Her latest album, The Moon and Stars: Prescriptions For Dreamers has been in heavy rotation for me. Stand out tracks - “Stardust Scattering”, “You and I”, “Call Me A Fool”, “Smile”, and “Two Roads”. You can find Valerie’s music on all digital streaming platforms.

Notables

Based on the 2020 Economic State of the Black America published by the Senate Joint Economic Committee, the typical Black household earns a fraction of White households—just 59 cents for every dollar. The gap between Black and White annual household incomes is about $29,000 per year.

Mistakes make masterful teachers. - Nas

After much anticipation, Coming 2 America was released this past weekend. As underwhelming as it was to me, there were still moments that elicited a sense of nostalgia for the original movie. I was delighted to see many of the former actors reprise their roles and some newcomers in the entertainment industry get an opportunity to showcase their skills. The film seems to progressively move the franchise forward by addressing some problematic issues of sexism from the original, yet failed to remove a plot device that made its otherwise noble acts seem worthless. I’m going to spoil the film for the three people that haven’t seen it yet, but there’s a scene very early in the movie that depicts Akeem being date raped. The film being rated PG-13 leaves some room for imagination during the scene, but it’s very evident that the sex wasn’t consensual. As socially progressive as it seems we’re moving as a society, I still question why we’re rarely shocked when men are sexually assaulted on film.

Coming 2 America didn’t need to use date rape as a plot device, much like other forms of content don’t need sexual assault to move a story along, yet we often find public commotion hit its crescendo when the victims are white women. Black men don’t receive the luxury of society at large making a fuss over us when we’re raped on film. The duality is glaring when comparing two of the most popular shows in television history, Game of Thrones and Bridgerton. Game of Thrones has sexual assaults of three main characters. There was much uproar, rightfully so, concerning the assaults in the media and online with fans of the show. If anyone recalls, there was the rape of Daenerys in the very first episode, Cersei Lannister being raped by her brother Jamie in the fourth season, and Sansa Stark sexually assaulted by Ramsey Bolton during season five. The Coming To America franchise is not as large, yet it’s widely known enough that shock should find its way outside of obscure conversations happening on Twitter. Conversely, the rape of a main character, the Duke of Hastings, who is portrayed by a Black man, in the widely popular Netflix show Bridgerton, received a handful of articles written about its “uncomfortableness”, yet nothing nearly as the attention the assaults of white female characters received on Game of Thrones. Interestingly enough, the sexual assault of the Duke was even toned down from the explicitness of the book which the show uses as source material.

After the release of Coming 2 America, I’ve had discussions with folks that had a range of opinions on the film from good to ok to trash. Only one of these conversations were centered around the date rape of Akeem. I’m not too surprised that there hasn’t been that much ado around non-consensual sex where a man (particularly a Black man) is the victim. It’s a scenario that happens, but doesn’t make for trendy conversation. The problem lies with outcry that’s more discerning than general. Rape is rape. No matter how the victim identifies or how they present themselves to the world. Black men are often negatively stereotyped as sexual predators that shouldn’t have any sort of agency, even when they’re the ones being assaulted. Maybe we’ll get better with our selective shock when it comes to these issues, especially when Black men are the victims. That wishful thinking requires people to think of Black men outside of their already limited perspectives of us. We’ll see...

Doing The Work

Russell Westbrook and Nina Earl opening an academy

NBA star Russell Westbrook is partnering with his wife, Nina Earl, and the LA Promise Fund to start a school in Los Angeles. The goal of the academy is to provide access to a college and career education that uplifts and empowers students in South Los Angeles. Westbrook is the second NBA player to start his own school. In July 2018, LeBron James launched his I Promise School in Akron, Ohio.

Business Moves

Square purchases a majority share of Tidal from Jay-Z

Last week, Jay-Z announced, through Roc Nation, that Square was acquiring a majority of the streaming service Tidal. The deal was made with stock and cash for $297 million, with Jay-Z retaining a board seat at Square. Jay-Z and a host of artists purchased Tidal in 2015 for $56 million.

Justice Or Just Us

Kenneth Walker, boyfriend of Breonna Taylor, had charges permanently dismissed

A Kentucky Circuit Court Judge has permanently dismissed charges for Kenneth Walker, the boyfriend of Breonna Taylor. Walker was charged with assault and attempted murder of a police officer after law enforcement officers entered the apartment of Taylor and Walker. Louisville police entered the apartment through a no knock warrant that resulted in the officers killing Taylor.

Entertainment

Dating show set in South Africa only has three Black contestants

“Love Island South Africa”, a spin-off of a popular dating show, is being rightfully criticized for its lack of Black people on the show. South Africa’s citizenry is 80% Black, yet the dating show has cast only three Black contestants. For anyone that knows the full history of South Africa, this news should not be surprising.

What I”m Listening To

Drizzy Drake does it again. The Canadian has one of the most consistent careers in music and has not slowed down since the debut of his mixtape in 2009. Even though Scary Hours 2 is a three pack, it provides enough lyrical material for you to keep the songs on repeat to decipher what the Boy is rapping about. The tape features guest appearances from Lil Baby (his verse was top tier) and Rick Ross.

Notables

Even with some insurmountable challenges facing us as Black men, it’s still important that we make our health a top priority. According to analysis undertaken by the Brookings Institute, Black men have a much lower life expectancy compared to other demographics. There are several external factors contributing to that, but we must focus on what’s in our control - food and exercise. The full report can be read here.

Without dignity there is no liberty, without justice there is no dignity, and without independence there are no free men. - Patrice Lumumba

In celebration of Women’s History month, I wanted to take a moment and recognize the Black women in my life that have enriched me along my journey. This week at Rewriting The Narrative, we’re releasing an article that we published February of 2020. Take some time to revisit the post. While you’re at it, please recognize, protect, and pay Black women what they’re worth.

I’m often amazed by the level of support I’ve been shown over the years by women I’ve known for quite some time and those I’ve just met by happenstance. I’ve been fortunate enough to progress in my career and my personal endeavors through the kindness, feedback, and just out right love I’ve received from women. I’m continually doing the work of making myself a better man and have never needed anyone to spark that flame of change in me. Yet, the enrichment I’ve received throughout my maturation into manhood has not gone unnoticed. I’m only as successful as the people that have invested value into me. In the vein of appreciating people while they are here to receive the praise, it’s my duty to honor four women that have or continue to enhance my ability to strive for greatness.

I been banking, check my balance. You a bet away from skid row. I owe Sallie Mae, but owe my people way mo’. - Rapsody

It’s nearing twenty years since I was a freshman at what was known as the State University of West Georgia. I was a wide-eyed kid from the suburbs who bore the burden of being the first born son in a very West African household. Every single decision I made from the onset of summer orientation before classes began through my first job was unfortunately, a direct reflection on my family. Achievements were amplified and disappointments were acknowledged, but kept mainly hidden from extended family for fear of looking like a failure. That pressure all but subsided when I met Julia Areh. An immigrant herself and someone who’s trajectory in U.S. schools mirrored mine. In her I found a kindred spirit that understood my unspoken language. She was intelligent, wise beyond her years, and had the outspokenness I secretly desired. Julia not only pushed me to be my best self during our time together maneuvering the halls of higher education, but has nurtured the seeds in me that have blossomed into the man that I am today. I can’t thank her enough for her patience and impatience, which was her ability to understand where I was in life, but not accepting anything less than a spirit of ambition. When you’ve literally grown up with someone, you have the unique vantage point of seeing them in their final manifestation, but also all of the struggle in getting to that destination. Julia has been there for it all. Though I’m continually building upon the work I’ve done to better myself, the toil is all for naught without a partner to provide nourishment. From our countless hours of studying together as seniors in college, to the workout routines we created together, and all of the content creation we birthed via our collaborations, I can only pray that I’ve poured equal amounts of support into her life as she’s done mine.

Writing for me has been something that’s given me a reprieve from the competing demands in my life, challenged me to dedicate time to the craft itself, and providing me an outlet to connect with others with similar experiences. As inconsistent as I’ve been with structuring my thoughts and life into something that can be digested with little effort, I’ve had some very consistent readers of my work who’ve inspired me to continue my writing. Keisha Owiredu and Kristin Bennett have both provided me positive feedback and words of encouragement with each post I’ve uploaded. These motivational moments have immense significance to me, because Keisha has written two books and Kristin teaches English. As I continue to progress in my corporate career and provide enough time to my family, these words I distribute online often take a back seat to those endeavors. The texts of praise I often receive from these two exude heartfelt appreciation and provide me just the amount of reassurance that the possibilities are infinite on this journey I’m traversing.

My life in corporate America has been nothing short of some incredible highs and some dispiriting lows. Working in different sectors of the workforce has taught me to be resourceful, challenged my perceptions, and encouraged me to sometimes dilute aspects of myself for the sake of a check. I’ve learned to navigate these treacherous waters with the ease of a seasoned sailor. Even though most of my days felt as if I was blindfolded and the boat itself was on fire, but people like Laquisha Milner were the lighthouses during those dark days that helped journey me to shore. Laquisha provided a listening ear, gave great feedback, and inspired me not to settle for less while I was an intern aspiring for a full time position. My career would have looked far more different without her persistent conversations with me about knowing my worth and preserving my peace of mind.

I wouldn’t be who I am without who they are. Women have poured into my life and my work without asking for anything else, but just the mere sight of seeing me successful. I’ve shared my dreams with these women, whether big enough to scare me into inaction or small enough that I thought they were insignificant. Whether the size of my ambitions, they were right there to provide their support, but also there to hold me accountable. I thank God for my mother, my mother-in-law, countless aunts, and the many women who’ve emanated prosperity into everything I’ve touched. If I never become monetarily fruitful, I’ll always be rich in love and support.

Business Moves

Thasunda Brown Duckett becomes second Black woman CEO of Fortune 500 company this year

TIAA, the Teacher’s Insurance and Annuity Association of America, named Thasunda Brown Duckett as CEO. Thasunda is the second Black woman this year to lead a Fortune 500 company, Rosalind Brewer was appointed earlier this year to lead Walgreens. Duckett formally ran consumer banking for JP Morgan Chase and will be one of five Black CEOs heading a Fortune 500 company.

Michele Thornton Ghee will be CEO of relaunched Ebony Magazine

As we reported back in Issue 1 of Rewriting The Narrative, Ebony Magazine was sold to a holding company owned by retired NBA player Ulysses “Junior” Bridgeman. Bridgman has tapped Michele Thornton Ghee to lead the company as CEO. Under her helm, Ebony will be relaunched as a digital publication. Ghee has a career in media, having worked for such brands as BET Networks, CNN, and the History Channel.

Education

Graduate of New York City’s public school system becomes Chancellor

This month, Meisha Ross Porter will become Chancellor for New York City’s public school system, the nation’s largest school district. Not only was Meisha a product of the NYC public school system, but her mother was a NYC public school teacher. She was recently appointed by NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio after having served as executive superintendent overseeing the Bronx schools.

What I’m Listening To

What more can I say about the album Jaguar from Victoria Monet that already hasn’t been said? The album is amazing, but short (shakes fist in older millennial).  Music nerds are probably familiar with Victoria being a songwriter for Ariana Grande, Jaguar truly gives her an opportunity to showcase her skill set. It pains me to select stand out songs, because the entire album is just that good. I’ll give it the old college try with the following selections: “Moment”, “Dive”, “Jaguar”, “Experience”, and “Ass Like That”.

Notables

Interesting note for Women’s History Month, Shirley Chisolm was the first Black woman elected to the United States Congress. Additionally, she was the first Black American candidate for a majority party’s nomination for President of the United States and the first woman to run for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination. Cheers to sister Shirley Chisolm and all of the Black women that have come after her!

“I have the nerve to walk my own way, however hard, in my search for reality, rather than climb upon the rattling wagon of wishful illusions.” - Zora Neale Hurston

Today marks the first anniversary of the murder of Ahmaud Arbery. It was one year ago on this day that Ahmaud was senselessly killed while going out for a routine run and visit of newly constructed homes in a middle-class neighborhood just outside of Brunswick, Georgia. His killers are currently in jail awaiting trial for his murder along with other charges. With the way cases similar to this have played out in the United States, I have a cynical outlook if justice will indeed be served. Ahmaud was a Black man. It pains me to even describe him in the past tense, because he should be here today amongst the living, doing the very thing that brought him joy, running. Nevertheless, Ahmaud was profiled, harassed, held against his will, and eventually murdered by men who felt emboldened enough to to take a life that wasn’t theirs to seize. 

Ahmaud Arbery could have easily been me. I routinely run around my neighborhood and surrounding areas. I’ve since been extra vigilant to train on trails, yet that doesn’t alway put an end to profiling. The scum who murdered Ahmaud claimed they were making a citizen’s arrest for the burglarization of the home in construction and past break ins, yet our brother wasn’t found with any belongings on him. He was shot dead, because he fought for his life and resisted apprehension from trash in human skin who felt entitled to his body and his life. I often think about how I would have handled that situation and I can’t find many, if any, dissimilar actions I would have taken compared to brother Ahmaud. My family and I purchased a new home last year and the subdivision it’s in has doubled in size. There are new residences being built on almost every street. Many of us in our neighborhood occasionally walk through the new constructions often to see what contractors are doing differently or just to compare our homes. That type of traffic in recently built houses is common and it shouldn’t have been a surprise to Ahmaud’s murderers that he was merely engaged in what anyone does with homes being built. The difference was our brother was Black. When you’re Black, people rarely give you the benefit of the doubt. Normal activities are scrutinized and eventually demonized, because people cannot fathom Black people just being human. Additionally, crimes committed against Black people due to the mere fact of us just being Black have charges dismissed. This very scenario happened with Ahmaud’s family by an incompetent district attorney’s office that had ties with the human waste that murdered him. If you’re keeping up, Black people are victimized for just being Black then revictimized by the judicial system supposedly here to ensure justice is served.

There’s not enough policies or laws that will or should protect us from those that seek to do us harm simply due to our darker pigmentation. The hate crimes law Georgia passed after Ahmaud’s death is an after-the-fact action that more than likely will not dissuade would be attackers, especially if district attorneys won’t press charges. I advise brothers to protect yourselves and protect your families. Educate yourselves on situational awareness and self defense. No one is here to save us, but us. In honor of our brother Ahmaud Arbery, get some miles in (safely) on the trail or the treadmill. Most importantly, be safe and stay dangerous.

Doing The Work

Teacher In San Diego awarded for work in the community

Nasara Gargonnu, a physical educator and fitness instructor in San Diego, has been awarded for his work in keeping his community active. The husband and father was awarded the Health Services Advisory Board’s Community Inspiration Award. Gargonnu instructs at Morse High School while being a leader for the local chapter of Black Men Run and instructor in his area’s YMCA. Gargonnu’s goals are to keep the community active to better build their immunity systems.

100 Black Men of Savannah, Inc. give provided children’s books

The 100 Black Men of America is one of the nation’s leading African American mentoring organizations. The chapters in Savannah, Savannah State University, and Georgia Southern University have partnered to give away 100 free children’s books to their communities. The book includes essays from children on their experiences dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic.

Education

Changing the face of education

Black Men Teach, a Minneapolis nonprofit, is working alongside the Minnesota Legislature to recruit Black men to teach in elementary schools. The legislature is looking to address long-standing achievement gaps in the state. Markus Flynn, executive director of Black Men Teach, states there are sustained impacts to students when they have a Black teacher. According to a Johns Hopkins University report, the likelihood of Black students dropping out decreases by 40% when they have a Black teacher in elementary school.

What I’m Listening To

This week I hopped in the DeLorean to send me back only six months so I could listen to Burna Boy’s album, Twice As Tall. Personally, I felt like this joint was gravely underrated and should’ve been in heavy rotation for anyone that enjoys artists that are versatile. It was recognized by the industry by being Grammy-nominated under the world music category. Additionally, this album was executive produced by Diddy. Stand out songs include: “Way Too Big”, “Wonderful”, “Onyeka (Baby)”, “Monsters You Made”, and “Real Life”.

Notables

On this day in 1979, Frank Peterson, Jr. was named the 1st Black general in the United States Marine Corps.

“A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.” - Marcus Garvey