Real Eyes Realize Real Lies

I know, I know. It’s been two weeks since the last post. Major apologies there, but a brother was in the trenches for the last two weeks. Though I wasn’t unscathed, I came out with a better appreciation for people that have to take on certain roles in the workforce. I’m privileged enough, that I didn’t have to do that line of work, but I chose to do it for a sped up financial freedom process. There’s other opportunities for me out there that don’t require me losing half of my body weight in sweat and I’ve all but secured one of those gigs. Maybe someday in the future when it’s time to publish my memoir, I’ll go into vivid detail concerning the last two weeks of my life. All that aside, I’m feeling good about the future and feeling even better about Me, Incorporated. “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business man!” Now please come get into my business, damn! That’s how Jay Z should’ve finished off that bar, because he really does want us in his business and so do I to a certain extent. I share some personal things in these here blog streets and I’m vulnerable enough to not feel any kind of shame in what I choose to publish.I’m not an open book just yet, I need a lot more self-actualization before I write at that level of transparency. 

Speaking of Hov, we’re all still watching the NFL, right? I didn’t get an opportunity to see the kickoff game last Thursday for reasons that were explained in the first paragraph. I heard it was trash anyway, like most of Sunday’s games. Even my beloved Dirty Birds disappointed (as they’ve been doing since I was old enough to remember). I can’t even say which of the match ups were lowest of keys the most exciting, because I still need to live in Atlanta safely. Read between the lines if you must. I don’t want to belabor you with anymore critical analysis of Jay Z’s partnership with the NFL, because more seasoned writers and internet opinionators have beaten that topic to death. What I will say is this, Hovito has been the same person since I was 13 years old when he released his breakthrough classic work, Reasonable Doubt. Listen to that album to get a small glimpse of who the man once was and partly still is. Come back after a few spins then really assess your feelings on Roc Nation’s dealings with the most loved and hated league in the U.S. I cannot in good faith say Mr. Carter is exploiting the social activism that Colin Kaepernick started in August 2016, because he’s been doing so much for the plight of black and brown people. Many of those gestures were even done anonymously, but it’s not lost on me that activism has become a business. And business is boomin’. Regardless on my feelings concerning Hov’s business partnership, I’ll still be watching that pigskin fly every Sunday afternoon.

After a week from hell, this past weekend was such a blessing. I only left my place of sanctuary (the house) once, it was merely to walk the kids to our subdivision’s swimming pool. A measly three minute walk. Other than that it was video games, football, and some cleaning (boss lady said I can’t be off off). After only seeing the kids via FaceTime the previous week, it was great just to be in their presence and hang out like we normally do. Garvey’s fear of water have all disappeared since our trip to 30A last month, but he still prefers to spend about 80% of his time out of the water “relaxing” on the lawn chairs. I don’t fight it, the kid needs as much self-care time as I do. The senior toddler classroom can be stressful bruh! I can’t imagine the amount of naps they’re forced to take. The horror! Zora made the most of her pool day by practicing moves she learned in previous swimming lessons. While there I heard her talking to a classmate and I got all of the hot 3rd grade gossip. Who knew these little people led such interesting lives? I needed this weekend. My body ached, my spirit was bruised, and part of me felt bad for the socioeconomic statuses some of my former part-time coworkers found themselves a part of. Of course a handful of people find themselves labeled as the “working poor” through nothing but their own doings, but many that are labeled this way was due to a system that we’re all complicit in upholding. Like I said earlier in this post, I’m privileged and I recognize all of it’s ugly smugness. I don’t dull my light for anyone, yet I’m keenly aware that I have it waaaay better than some folks in this country. Maybe that’s some of that self-actualization I’m hoping to gain more of in my lifetime. To appreciate my accomplishments, upbringing, and education, yet recognizing many of my successes weren’t just merit based. But there needs to be something after that realization, merely knowing you have it good is self-congratulatory and rarely amounts to nothing. How do I use my privilege to benefit others who can use it?  Information. I can pass what I’ve learned or experienced with people that need it way more than me, because you really don’t know how much of this “game” is rigged and fucked up until you’re around people that it affects the most.